I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Text me some of your sweat
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