escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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