the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So much rum. So many feels.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
