it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We talked him into tasing himself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
