okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
