eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
