I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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