My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize