Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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