Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
