Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
