so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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