I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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