i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
