What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
