seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
