So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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