Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
