I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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