The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
