I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
