The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
