dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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