I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
