I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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