Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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