The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
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