is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
