I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm having to shit out rocks
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
