Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
