theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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