Kiss
Puke
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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