we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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