just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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