STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
