3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
