yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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