Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
