Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
