i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
