I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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