Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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