Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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