using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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