You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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