I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
