He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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