Got a toothbrush?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
