I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize