before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
a search helicopter?!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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