We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
MIDGETS
????
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
