I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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