I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
