Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
