I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
