overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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