Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
