His pubic hair was longer than his dick
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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