Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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